we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize