STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
