I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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