Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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