oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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