Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
