i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm both gender and math confused
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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