I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
