My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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