Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
