remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He felt like a one man threesome
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
