Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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