Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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