Your mouth is God's brothel.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
