Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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