Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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