im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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