If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize