I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
