OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
