Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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