Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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