i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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