oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
