Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
