This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You're like the curious george of whores
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Randomize
