he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
