Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
