Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
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He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
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Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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