my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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