They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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