I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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