It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
