So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
