I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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