yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize