Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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