i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
