i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
