Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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