i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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