so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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