Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
