I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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