I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
