So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
