I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize