I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I want a musical about memes.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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