i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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