This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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