Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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