I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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