whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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