i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
did i just pee glitter