btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.