She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
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we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
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If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening