I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.