let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
