We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
