i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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